Yoshi's Journal

Master Yoshi is keeping a journal to document all of his new and exciting experiences.  The great master has been revitalized by his new found ability to levitate; albeit with the help of a hovercraft.  Read his journal entries so that you can keep up with his adventures.   Master Yoshi's english is a little broken, so read his writings carefully.

#3     Boss take me ride!  Boss take me ride!  Yoshi go being like animal on sales flooring now.  I sell many to get ride again.  Levitation experience great.  Boss take me beautiful places on hovercraft.  Much different from monasterial transcendental state; I keep eyes open.  Yoshi love it when Boss go levitate fast.  After levitation ride, boss look at me and ask why I cry.  I say not cry, eyes water from wind.  Boss say he sorry, I say I not.  Boss make Yoshi spin.  He call it 360 maneuver.  Levitation machine just spin when going straight line.  I love 360 maneuver.  Yoshi experience something like before in monastery when Dalai Lama visit.  Boss ask me when I change clothes.  I say no find robe store in Chillicothe.  Boss say no robe store here.  I ask boss if he have uniform for Yoshi.  Boss say he want me design and order.  He say need credit card; whatever that is.  I go marketing class soon.  Maybe I find clothes there.  People ask Yoshi for special clothes.  Maybe I think something.  I no understand why phone no ring off hook to buy levitation machine.  People must be nut.  Who would no like levitate?  Maybe people no know what hovercraft be.  Yoshi must find way tell people.  Yoshi know people take ride, they be hook.

#4     Yoshi tired.  Just come back from marketing class school.  More hard than learn monk rituals.  I thought class show how sell vegetables along road; like Tibet.  Class talk on thing call psychographic; Yoshi know to watch for psycho now.  Told boss Yoshi had idea for sell T shirt with logo.  Boss say design o.k.  I order for to sell.  Boss no like idea for to sell Yoshi robes.  Brethren in Tibet be mostly disappointed.  Boss show me new camo levitation machine.  Great for to hunt yak.  Boss say no yak in Ohio.  I say that strange, fast food taste like yak.  Boss say now I educating I design more thing for store.  I work hard for make boss happy.  Yoshi know camo craft sell soon; mean more ride for Yoshi; I excited.  Boss say he show me how drive levitation machine.  Yoshi began shake at thought.  Brethren wrote Yoshi letter.  Brethren say they want levitate like Yoshi.  I say them raise money for trip to here.  They say last bake sale not make good money enough for to buy ticket.  Say bake monkey on stick not big seller.  I tell them open gift shop at monastery; Buddha action figure hot seller.

#5     Found apartment above dry cleaner, next to convent; very familiar.  No furniture; Yoshi no need except mat for to sleep.  Boss buy me incense; make apartment smell like monastery; boss nice.  Close to store where sell goat milk; still only powdered.  Yoshi no like chalkie taste.  Boss say add water; Yoshi try.  Take robe to dry cleaner.  Hope cleaner man know how clean Yoshi's favorite robes.  He say no worry; he have brother in Tibet.  Boss say he teach me how hover tomorrow.  Yoshi stomach in knot.  Boss say be ok.  He start Yoshi in open field; no tree.  Yoshi pray to Buddha for weather nice and no crash.  Boss say it easy and no worry.  I no want hurt levitation machine; almost like idol.    Yoshi no want 7 year bad karma.  Incense help with karma; Yoshi go burn.  Yoshi put Karma in bank; maybe need make withdrawl.  Boss say buy refrigerator for apartment.  I buy.  Put incense in.  Still no understand why incense need be cold.  I try new uniform today.  Feel funny.  Not free flow like robe.  Boss say size right; Yoshi feel light head.  Yoshi get ready for busy day.  Person come see levitation machine tomorrow.  Say he ready go hover.  Yoshi work hard make sale.  Must pay rent.  Too bad no monastery near, rent cheap.

#6     What experience!  Levitation machine so easy fly.  Yoshi no believe.  Boss show Yoshi throttle; Yoshi turn, craft levitate.  Out body experience; saw Buddha.  Boss tell me go drive train course.  I drive between traffic cones; no hit.  Boss say Yoshi natural.  I say pratice over 40 year in head.  No could wear robe in craft.  Boss afraid get caught in fan.  Yoshi no want be vegematic; wear work clothes.  Boss kept Yoshi on grass; say best for beginner.  Boss let Yoshi do 360 maneuver; Dalai Lama be proud.  Yoshi never felt more free.  Remind Yoshi of time when watch two goat herd instead one; very proud.  Must write monasterial brethren in Tibet.  Let know stop meditation; get hovercraft.  Maybe be misinterpret ancient writing.  Now Yoshi no wait for levitate above water without get wet.  Have hard time sleep tonight on mat in apartment.  Yoshi get out incense from refrigerator and light; help Yoshi relax.  Recieve letter from brethren today.  It say gift shop idea do well; stock shelves with Buddha action figure and stuff monkies.  No can keep in stock.  I order Dalai Lama wall size poster.  It going look cool in apartment.  Brethren say at this rate, be levitate with Yoshi in Chillicothe soon; almost enough money for ticket.

#7     Went pick up robes at drycleaner today.  Talk to owner Fred; he cleaner man.  Fred say he got robes clean, but no could fix holes from incense burns.  I ask why one robe ruin.  Fred say no ruin, just different color.  Look like tie-dye to Yoshi.  Never wear robe like that since 60's.  Fred say need pay anyway; Yoshi pay Fred.  Yoshi need call bug man.  Yoshi saw big roach in apartment; name him Norman.  Make for Yoshi nervous to sleep on mat with light out; know Norman come and visit.  Must get sleep anyway.  Have package by door; it my new Dalai Lama poster from brethrens' gift shop in Tibet.  Put up on wall; overlook Yoshi's sleep mat.  It hanging next to Dukes of Hazard poster.  Landlord say that no extra; it free with rent.  Nun come visit Yoshi from convent.  She say she hear Yoshi monk from Tibet.  I say true.  She ask why Yoshi here.  I say I look for way to levitate.  She look funny at Yoshi.  I say I find way in Chillicothe.  Nun no believe Yoshi.  I tell her I prove, but no can do in apartment.  Yoshi talk nun into visit dealership.  Nun say she bring sisters; Yoshi excited.  Took boss advice and add water to powder goat milk.  Boss right, taste better.  Offer nun milk, nun take.  Nun face pucker when try; Yoshi clean robe dirty now.  Nun say she sorry.  Yoshi say it o.k., need shower anyway.

#8     Take soil robe back to Fred.  Fred say, "What happen?"  I say problem with nun.  Fred say have to watch nuns.  He say he lose nun laundry deal to other drycleaner because bid too high.  I say nun nice, but have poor table manner.  I go work and boss tell me rescue company look at hovercraft.  I say that great; what rescue company?  Boss explain what rescue mean.  Remind Yoshi tragic cow drowning of '86 in Tibet.  Many rain come and wash mountain side.  Cows no float very long.  If have hovercraft maybe save many cow.  People in village need Yoshi and other monasterial monks provide counselling; still no complete recover.  Community turn to goat for sustenance.  Brethren begin raise goat for milk and meat; have many head now.  Boss say many people rescue by hovercraft every year.  Make Yoshi happy know levitation be use in positive way.  Must try contact brother Pongi; he now Catholic priest, live in Chicago.  Mother and Father never forgive.  Pongi nice, Mom and Dad no understand; mad he leave Tibetan monastery.  Pongi be excited about levitation.  Pongi tried for many year with me, but no able to levitate.  Pongi get frustrate and quit monastery.  Yoshi never have problem with because know Pongi have good heart.  Pongi be surprised when Yoshi call and tell him levitate now.  Boss say get ready sell rescue company hovercraft.  I be sure to tell them save cow when possible.

#9     It rain hard today.  Yoshi think might float away.  Boss say many people flooding.  Yoshi watch news but see only one hovercraft.  Yoshi think "why"?  Most rescue company use boat.  Yoshi think no good.  Boat hit things under water hovercraft not.  Yoshi must find way tell rescuers hovercraft better and more safe.  Must call new nun friend.  She get word out through church network.  Nun say church everywhere.  I say yea.  Talk laundry man Fred come to dealership.  Fred look at levitation machine.  Say be great way dry laundry.  I say never thought, but right.  Yoshi have date with local school.  Tell children about levitation.  Children always best for to learn thing; mind always open.  Boss say take levitation machine show kids.  Yoshi excited for experience.  Remind Yoshi of time in Tibet when children come to monastery.  Yoshi tour guide, answer many levitation question even then.  No could levitate, but now can.  Boss spend more time with Yoshi show how operate craft.  Yoshi take like goat to hillside.  Yoshi now know how fly on land and water.  Did demo for nuns.  Sisters no believe that Yoshi levitate until see.  I say Yoshi not lie ever.  If Yoshi say, it true.  Now nuns want learn.  I say church should buy.  Nuns say need save money; maybe play more bingo.  Bingo great idea.  I tell brethren in Tibet start.  Make more money fast for buy ticket come to here.  Brethren still try ancient way for to levitate; still no work.  They stubborn, no know better.  Yoshi no wait for show brethren how levitate.  Pongi call Yoshi.  Say he be here next week.  Yoshi excited see brother.  No wait for take him levitation ride.

#10     Wake up on floor mat in apartment.  Norman bring friends last night have party.  Some Norman friend party too hard; Yoshi have sweep up with broom, throw in trash.  Must call exterminator man; evict Norman.  Big day today.  Boss want Yoshi test drive new Hoverjet 447.  Yoshi take to river.  Yoshi feel acceleration great.  Levitation experience best ever; head go back craft go fast.  Yoshi wear big smile all day.  Brethren write from Tibet.  Say try Bingo.  It big success.  Rice farmer and goat herder big supporter.  Say they go get plane ticket tomorrow with Bingo funds.  First must find currency converter that take goat and rice.  Boss say soon Yoshi be allow give ride.  Yoshi learn hover quick.  Natural for Yoshi.  Yoshi love feeling levitation.  When Yoshi try levitate in monastery, no wind in Yoshi hair.  Now plenty wind; sometime bug.  When Yoshi levitate far, carry canteen full goat milk; very refreshing.  Yoshi go to church tonight meet priest.  Priest interest in hovercraft.  Want teach congregation to levitate.  Yoshi happy show.  School kids write Yoshi, thank for showing hovercraft.  Soon Yoshi be able give kids ride.  Stop by store today buy more furniture.  Yoshi buy bean bag chair; now have soft place sit.  Rent due today.  Fred say I pay on time.  I say I lucky sell levitation machine or no pay Fred.  Fred say better sell more if want live here.  I say high pressure compare to monastery; no have do anything there.  I ask Fred if I work part time for laundry.  Fred say I know how?  I say did all time at monastery; except no have machine, only tree limb and stick.  Fred look at Yoshi funny.  Yoshi tell Fred not worry.  Fred say o.k.  Now Yoshi be able pay rent for sure.  Not lose shelter for Yoshi and Norman.

#11     Boss say Yoshi take advantage of big event this weekend; try sell hovercraft.  Many motorcycle in Chillicothe.  Yoshi buy ticket go event.  Yoshi see thousand of motorcycle, but no hovercraft.  Yoshi not realize many people at event get hot and take clothes off.  Many tribe represented with many iron horses.  Yoshi take hovercraft; only one have.  Big motorcycle man help show Yoshi where set up.  Yoshi set up in place call "Burn out alley".  Other big motorcycle men come with iron horses, sit in place and make smoke with back tire.  Yoshi ask people why do.  They tell Yoshi it cool to burn out and spin tire; leave big black mark.  Yoshi get idea.  If motorcycle men do burn out, Yoshi do spin out with hovercraft.  Yoshi ask big motorcycle man if o.k. do spin out.  Motorcycle man say o.k.  Yoshi wait turn.  Yoshi enter Burn out alley, put hovercraft in spin.  Do many, many 360 maneuvers.  Yoshi get dizzy, but more Yoshi do, louder crowd get.  Yoshi keep spin and spin.  Crowd go wild.  Yoshi stop, get out of craft.  Yoshi fall over; very dizzy.  Crowd grab Yoshi put over heads.  Carry Yoshi around; make cheer.  Pass Yoshi around like goat at Tibetan food market.  Chant Yoshi name.  Gave Yoshi drink, but not goat milk.  Yoshi not sure what is, but stay dizzy longer than thought from hovercraft.  Motorcycle man come back later, show Yoshi tatoo of Yoshi's name in arm.  Yoshi amazed.  Many motorcycle men want hovercraft now.  Tell Yoshi he steal show.  Yoshi never steal anything in life.

#12     Get letter from brethren in Tibet.  They no get plane ticket yet.  Went try exchange goats.  Lose goats in different goat herd.  Not tell which is which.  Try passive aggression with other herder, no work.  Other herder say tough.  Now have go monastery gift shop sell more buddha action figures.  Yoshi disappointed, not see brethren for while.  Brother Pongi show up today.  Yoshi cry when Pongi show up.  Not see since Pongi excommunicated from monastery.  Pongi very happy and want see Yoshi levitate.  Yoshi borrow boss's Hoverstar LC; boss trust Yoshi fly.  Take Pongi on long ride.  Pongi say he understand what Yoshi mean now and blessed levitation machine.  Say he think he call Bishop and tell him about how he feel after ride.  We take levitation machine back dealership.  Introduce Pongi to boss.  Boss and Pongi get along well.  Pongi hungry so take him to Convent for sisters to serve.  Sisters make deep dish pizza; just how Pongi like.  This food strange to Yoshi.  Yoshi stick with rice and goat's milk.  Pongi make good suggestion help brethren in Tibet.  Ask nuns if hold Bingo tournament benefit monks.  Nuns agree.  Fred call and say Yoshi's robes ready for pick up.  Fred say he no save one robe.  Robe get caught in belt and pulley; rip in half.  Boss say careful fly hovercraft with robe.  Yoshi no listen; cost Yoshi one robe.  Pongi ask Yoshi if sell many levitation machine.  Yoshi say able pay rent.  Yoshi work hard buy new robe.

#13     Boss ask Yoshi go test Hoverjet 447, see how carb compensator work.  Yoshi gladly take day go hover.  Boss tell Yoshi that carb compensator make for customer life easy.  I say,"How"?  Boss say no have change jetting in carb.  Yoshi glad, wish no have change socks everyday.  No make sock compensator.  Boss right, engine run smooth, use less gas.  Yoshi start in morning when temperature cool, finish when temperature warm; engine run fine.  It know no different.  Yoshi no understand how tubes on carb work, but don't care; make everybody life easier.  Man see Yoshi levitating while Yoshi test.  Man ask Yoshi about levitation machine.  Yoshi tell him great story of levitation.  Man say he hunt ducks.  Say hovercraft perfect.  Yoshi say great for hunt water buffalo too; man just look at Yoshi.  He say he might buy.  Yoshi very excited, mean Yoshi pay Fred rent if sell man.  Yoshi go back dealership think about levitation; feel great.  Pongi coming dinner tonight.  Need stop store pick up bologna, soup and cheeze whiz.  Yoshi make Pongi's favorite; bologna soup with cheeze whiz topping.  Need make sure Norman no live in raisin box again.  Pongi not like raisin with legs.

#14     Yoshi go store for get goat milk.  Store out, say carry no more.  Yoshi look around town for new supply; no find.  Boss say go buy goat from farm.  Yoshi take money visit farmer.  Farmer sell Yoshi goat $20.  Yoshi think good deal.  Take goat to apartment, Fred say no keep goat there.  Yoshi tie goat to tree, front of apartment.  Yoshi forgot ask how to milk.  Yoshi leave bucket with goat, maybe goat fill by self.  Fred say he not sure about goat in front of dry cleaner.  Say start smell.  Pongi coming today for levitate.  I take Pongi to river; first time Pongi try fly.  Nun friends come watch Pongi; say he genius and no can lose at Bingo.  I ask nuns they bring goat for exercise.  Nuns bring Herman the goat.  Pongi like hovercraft, say not hard levitate.  I say he show off for nuns.  I ask nuns how milk Herman.  Nuns say no can milk Herman; need Henrietta.  I say no can milk Herman?  Nun say no possible; he billie.  I say no, he Herman.  Nun say no, billie mean boy goat; need girl for to milk.  Yoshi lose 20 bucks.  Now have sell Herman.  Nuns say no sell, keep.  Yoshi say why keep.  Nuns say Herman cut Fred's grass.  Yoshi think might work.  Maybe Fred take from rent.  Pongi quick learner.  Already levitate over water.  Pongi say he no think levitation be so relaxing.  I say very relaxing, but hovercraft no need meditation for levitation.

#15     Boss look at Yoshi, say Yoshi look tired.  Boss say Yoshi need vacation.  I say, "what vacation"?  Boss say like Nirvana.  I say, "Like Nirvana"?  Boss say yea.  Boss say it place you go for relax.  It sound like monastery to Yoshi.  Boss say no, it actual place where go have fun.  I say I have fun here.  Boss say Yoshi need get away.  Boss say he help.  Yoshi think boss no like now.  Boss say trust me.  I say o.k.  Boss show Yoshi places for vacation.  Yoshi pick Disney World.  Yoshi no like vacation, not like Nirvana.  Boss say why no like.  Yoshi say six foot mouse scare Yoshi.  Many creatures Yoshi no see ever.  No like Nirvana, more like other place.  Yoshi think place o.k., but people come to Yoshi think me character.  Yoshi never shake so many hand in life.  Make Yoshi very tired.  Call boss tell him dilemma.  Boss say try rollercoaster for to have fun.  Yoshi have sit next to child who eat hot dog and soft drink.  Yoshi not like go high in air; levitation only a few inches from surface much safer.  When reach top hill, Yoshi see all park, very nice.  When car go down hill, Yoshi scream like little girl.  Yoshi's eyeballs feel go back in Yoshi brain.  Little one next to Yoshi look different color.  Yoshi want off rollercoaster, but no can.  Yoshi try cognition technique learned in monastery; try find happy place.  After Yoshi find happy place, feel warm all sudden.  When ride over, Yoshi see why feel warm.  Little one no longer different color.  Yoshi go home.  Yoshi tell boss no more vacation.  Only vacation in head.  Yoshi want stay close to ground.  Be very happy if levitation machine be only ride Yoshi ever take again.

#16     Yoshi hear everyone talk about Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving something Yoshi always do.  Yoshi thankful for job sell levitation machine.  Yoshi no understand why everyone talk turkey.  Turkey must be competition animal here.  Everybody weigh to see who have biggest.  Boss ask Yoshi if have plan for Thanksgiving.  Yoshi say go home kneel on mat pray to Buddha like always do.  Boss say not what he mean.  Yoshi say what mean?  Boss explain Yoshi Thanksgiving meaning.  Yoshi never know.  Boss say come his house for Thanksgiving.  Yoshi look forward.  Yoshi amazed at big food.  Enough feed Tibetan army.  Yoshi no understand why table no sag in middle.  Everyone nice to Yoshi, pass many food my ways.  Yoshi try one of everything.  Yoshi's diet very much different from Thanksgiving food.  Food taste so good, Yoshi no stop.  Boss say slow down.  Yoshi say no can, too good.  Boss say be sorry.  Yoshi no listen.  Yoshi definitely sorry.  Yoshi need help get up from table.  Yoshi no move by self.  Yoshi feel like fattened Yak before slaughter.  Boss say lay down on couch.  Yoshi never feel anything so soft.  Yoshi tired, fall asleep.  Yoshi wake up, dark outside.  Boss ask Yoshi if need doctor.  Yoshi not sure, Yoshi's belly look like pregnant goat.  Maybe Yoshi should go doctor, get rid of goats.  Boss say no worry, it normal.  Yoshi think strange way be thankful.  No understand why people want feel like engorged tick.  Yoshi stick with goat's milk and rice.  The lighter Yoshi be, the better for levitate.

#17     Yoshi been so busy.  First Hoverally experience feel like spiritual awakening.  Yoshi never see so many people levitate at once.  Feel like in Nirvana.  Yoshi meet people from all world.  Didn't know how many people like levitate.  Experience Yoshi not soon forget.  Yoshi's first year volunteer at rally.  Good thing Catholic nuns agree to volunteer; Yoshi never survive if didn't.  People come from all over to watch others levitate in machines.  Yoshi always suspect I not only one who dream of levitation.  People ask Yoshi all time where buy craft for levitate.  Yoshi have hand full now.  Yoshi's mouth tired after rally.  Not know have use so much.  So many peoples want information.  I write bretheren in Tibet to let know success Yoshi having here.  Bretheren report best gift shop sales ever, say levitating Buddha action figure #1 seller.  I say I bet.  Yoshi heart feel good after Hoverally.  Know people come back next year.  Maybe more have levitation machine then.  Boss say Hoverally big success; most peoples ever!  Yoshi not wait until next year.  Must get back work selling levitation machine.  So many people, Yoshi work long time.  Introduce more people to levitation.